Who Am I: When Job Titles Just Don't Cut It

Lately, a lot lately, I've been called a "writer." As in, that is my job. That is what I do.I mean, yeah, it's true - but really?What about those days when I don't have much to write? Or only write in disjointed sentence fragments? And not in the endearing way that somehow forms prose or a beatnik poem - in the way that nothing fits and nothing connects.On those days - am I a writer?And then there are the days I am on a set. Or a shoot. Or assisting someone else in making their dreams a realityOr maybe I lead a class or two, or take a yoga class. And then a nap.Or the days I spend half my time in the car, the other half doing....well, sometimes less than I'd like to admit.On those days, am I a writer?People ask what I do and I tell them. And then they say, "So you're a writer."  And the stubborn girl inside of me who just cannot let anything sit unless it is fully explained will go on - "well, yeah, I guess - but I also teach lots of fitness classes and still kinda act a little and I used to sometimes to model and hey I once managed my friend's fitness studio and I sing too and actually I'm more of a wellness activist and one of my job titles is really editor and blah blah blah blah" and it becomes this huge long dissertation, because the idea of identifying myself with a single noun at this point in my life feels so very unnatural.Growing up, I would always tell my friends that if I became an actor who talked about her "craft" with that pretentious air of voice they had full permission to smack me in the face. And when I got my fitness certifications and started to teach, I would start to be recognized as "that exercise teacher," but at the time it only accounted for a smidge of my paycheck while I was into my acting career and working odd jobs on the side.  Even when I finally made the whole-hearted decision to explore the health and wellness route professionally, I knew there was so much more to it, such a more intricate and vast world to that role than simply "being a health expert."I don't have friends who do one thing.  I have friends who are actors and producers.  Musicians and engineers. Yoga teachers and writers.  I admire them so; these brave and beautiful souls whose titles are mere vehicles for the beauty they are bestowing onto the world.And yet it sometimes brings me such discomfort to associate myself with a single job or noun. For the record, I've felt the same way since...forever. Since I felt discomfort telling others I was an actor. Since I started to repeat the phrase - "anyone can instruct; it takes something more to teach."It's because I know I am so much more than a one-word description someone can set on me.Here is what I beg of myself.  Here is what I offer.It does not have to involve a pen or a keyboard, a sheet of music or a script or camera or a spin bike.God forbid that without those things I am nothing:Let me be a force.  Let me be a visionary, an example.Let me be a safe haven and an open door; let me not change lives but empower people to change their own.Let me make you feel less alone; I have been there too.Let me strip down bare and get you to do the same. This is all we are and all we will ever be, what are you going to do with it?Let me hold your hand as we pick apart our scare tactics, our distractions, our things and our thorns. Let us not be reticent to bloody our hands, let us trust they will heal.When you feel helpless or do not like what you see let me propel you not to ignore it but recognize and transcend it.Let me struggle alongside you and jump where there is no net.Let us fly.So yeah. I am a writer. I am an editor and I am a group fitness teacher. I am an activist, an entrepreneur, a wellness warrior. I am an actor, I am a voice, I am a business gal. I am a human on a mission.I do not know what I Am, but I definitely know who I am - and what I want to be. And as long as I am striving for that every day, in every way, I know that any job title I take on will just be a glorious extension of what I stand for in this world.